swtpmarie's Xanga

It's time...

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 11:14:50 GMT

Well, here we are...several weeks later and I'm getting ready to fly home for my dad's surgery tomorrow morning. I'm wrapping up work for the week and feeling...hmmm, strangely at peace even though I have a to do list a mile long. I won't be getting any sleep before I'm off to the airport. So my lists are written and I hope that I don't forget anything that I might need.

I was on the phone with my mom Saturday and she and I were both commenting on how this surgery just kind of crept up and we weren't really even thinking about it. And then we start to think about it or are reminded of it and it's weird. Wedsnesday is going to be a long day. A day of waiting. But I am thankful that I can go home to be there. I am thankful that all 3 of us kids can be there. I am thankful to everyone that is lifting us up in prayer this week. And I'm thankful that my sister's letting me use her laptop while I spend all day at the hospital...she even joked that she's going to charge me $5/minute. Got to love the younger siblings...especially when they're housing you for free! :)

Updates to come...

News

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 07:31:48 GMT

So my dad told me Tuesday evening that the prostate cancer is in the early stages and that it has not spread anywhere. Dr. Thompsen suggested a robotic prostatectomy to treat my dad. Because we want to have a kidney transplant at some point, radiation is not a good thing for my dad. So mom and dad are going to be meeting with Dr. Lobo on Oct. 2 to discuss the surgery and hopefully schedule it. Apparently, we have to wait 6 weeks after the biopsy to have surgery. So that looks like the end of Ocotober or 1st week of November. I'm hoping to fly back for it. We'll see what happens.

Because of the cancer, a kidney transplant is now pushed back. Again. Dad has to be cancer free for 1-2 years before they would put a new kidney in. So now we hope and pray that Dad's kidney can hold up that long and we can avoid dialysis like the spawn of Satan. :) So Dad will have to be screened again for cancer and all that hoop-la before they'll put him on the donor list.

Thank you all so much for the support and prayers and encouraging words. It helps me. I haven't had a meltdown since Sunday. And that's good.

Shocking...I know...

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 05:10:19 GMT

Yes, I'm actually posting a blog. Your eyes are NOT deceiving you. It's been 4 freakin' months! oops!

The reason I'm actually posting is because I once again have a matter of prayer. We found out Friday afternoon that my dad has prostate cancer. On top of the fact that he needs a kidney transplant and he got a pacemaker less than a year ago. It's been a bit much to take in. I moved to CO the end of September and all this took place after I moved. It's hard not to read more into it. It's hard not to move back to MI at the drop of a hat. It was hard to call work Friday night - a mere half hour after getting the news - and give them a heads up of where my head was going to be. They graciously gave me the night off. I don't think I was even in a state to drive to work. I'm frustrated and angry and asking God WHY?!?! Why does it have to be my dad? I just don't get it! And why does it have to be when I am so far away and all I want is to be a physical presence and source of strength for him. It's just...I don't know...I don't know.

But then I try to remember what God has done in my life in the past year and what He continues to do and how He's using me in my parent's lives. And it all kind of fades. It doesn't take away the why's. But it's a small glimmer of hope...which is what I really need right now.

My parent's are meeting with the urologist on Tuesday night - after hours. I don't know many doctors that have appointments after hours. The dr. will be able to outline more of a game plan after that. It's out of our hands. And as my dad so poignantly said, "My name's Jud, not Job!" Amen, Dad. Amen.

Sooooo sleepy.....

Mon, 07 May 2007 10:11:33 GMT

I haven't been this tired in forever...it's 5 AM and I feel like climbing in one of the only empty beds left on our floor. But I will have a patient come back from surgery soon...one who shouldn't even be on our floor but for some strange reason, tele floors are the medical/surgical wasteland on the weekends. And this is why I'm glad I worked med-surg for a year or so before specializing.

My mom and sister fly out on Thursday! I can hardly wait to pick them up from the airport and start showing them around my new home. I'm still deciding on where to take them. What's going to be the most fun is that we're celebrating my birthday while they're out. We're going downtown to Rock Bottom Brewery Saturday night and then hanging out even more after that. And Mom's coming with! We'll see how long she lasts...

I can't believe how busy I've been staying. I don't know where the weeks go anymore. You'd think I'd learn my lesson...yeah, right. I think I cram in so much stuff because I truly don't like to be bored. But even more than that...I don't like to be lonely. And that's the root of many things in my life God is opening up and sifting through. It's painful....it's messy....it's hard. But God is here through it all. He promised to help me stay true to my promise. When I don't obey, God gets to teach me some things. It's a very interesting view of God. But tis true.

Enough for now. I feel like I'm rambling....and my eyes are so heavy. 2 more nights of work and then I get to clean my house and prepare for the fam-dam-ily and FearFactor. Oh, and the new Michael Buble CD...I love it. Ahhh.

Blessings.

Blessings...

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 06:09:23 GMT

So Easter was snowy...but I had a great time with my friends here in Colorado. There was LOTS of food, talking, debating, game playing, and laughing. I had worked the night before and so went to the 9AM service on no sleep. Went home, caught a 2 hour nap, and then went over to the guys house. I ended up being there until 10:30 PM! It was a lot of fun and just relaxing.

Today, I went to the UPS Store to ship something and overheard a woman talking about Belize. Turns out she's FROM Belize and is heading back there soon. She was shipping some stuff back and so I interjected that I had been there recently. She's from Chaa Creek...where Dr. Rosita Arvigo is from! It was cool to make that connection. Well then I had the urge to call Renae, so glad I did! She was actually home! I really wish I would have had more classes with her. What an amazing woman...

God has been really good to me. It amazes me that I repeatedly don't remember all He has done and continues to do. I was at small group tonight and was just really letting God sift through some stuff in my life. And then someone started reading Psalms 23...something I haven't read in ages. It just seems so simplistic and cliche...but God uses those simple things to bring us back to Him. Thank you Lord. What really hit home was the part "Even though I walk through the shadow of death, you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

I thought I should include some recent photos. So here they are...

The hostesses from A Dual Housewarming Progressive Block Party
L to R: Seabrooke (my roomie), Stephanie, Kelda, and me

I love this picture...Natalie and I having a giggly moment...

One of my favorites from Easter Sunday...I'm enjoying some Riesling...mmmm!

Time to dig in...Natalie, me, Kelda, Ryan

Josh, Kelda, and Jef

Francita, Matt, and Mark

Thanks to all of you who have been lifiting my dad up in prayer...I am blessed to call you friends.

Who really needs a kidney anyways?

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 21:39:47 GMT

I just got off the phone with my mom.. She and my dad had a great time in Costa Rica and now it's back to reality. They went to the dialysis info meeting Tuesday in Muskegon, MI, and got some really good info. Basically, our family is viewing dialysis as a VERY last resort. My dad's kidney (renal) function is at 20%. My mom asked the very timely question of when he should start looking for a donor. The doctor said now is a very good time. So my mom being the go-getter I know her to be has gotten the ball rolling. She has called St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Rapids to find out the whole process and what needs to be done before my dad would physically get a kidney. If my dad were able to find a compatible donor tomorrow it would still take a year before he would get the transplant. There are a slew of tests that he and the possible donor would both go through.

My dad is not going to ask anyone for a kidney. But my mom has done some prodding. :) Back when I was in 3rd grade, my Uncle Dennis died of Hodgkin's disease. He was my dad's youngest brother. Because of the whole disease process, all of the 4 brothers got their bone marrow screened and subsequently, my Uncle Roger has the same bone marrow as my dad. This doesn't mean their kidneys will match. But it does increase the likelihood. All this to say that when we found out a month ago how serious this all was becoming, my mom sent out an email to family and close friends. My Uncle Roger basically reminded my parents of said match and just said, "hey, I'm here. Let me know." To which I am overwhelmed. My sister and I have both said we'll get tested too. This is all sinking in yet. I can't believe I'm talking about kidney transplants and dialysis in regards to my dad and not a patient I'm caring for in the hospital. Be here Lord. This should be familar territory for me and yet, it is very unfamiliar terrain. It's my dad. The one who held me in the middle of the night and has cried with me. The one who encourages me through his actions as well as his words. The one who I have looked up too for all my life. The one man I truly admire.

So now that I've completely bared my true emotions and shed a few tears while typing this..just know that I have come off of a very emotional 3 days of work. I have been a hospice nurse to a wonderful woman and her amazing family. And she is still alive to my knowledge at this very moment. I bonded and have walked through the grieving process with all of them. I'm feeling weepy. And tired.

So there you have it. Life is still good, as is God. I still have hope and a reason to be thankful and rejoice. For my hope comes from the Lord.

Life in general...

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 05:59:27 GMT

has been good. I came off orientation this past week at work and it's been going smoothly. I think I have found a workplace I really enjoy. The pace isn't super fast but I am still challenged at this point because the location and policies and procedures are all new to me. And I really like the night crew. There are some really great people here...I feel like I fit in immediately. Truly a blessing.

And I've been trying to get the apartment all straightened out. I think Seabrooke and I finally have found a living room arrangement we both like. Now I just have to straighten out the crap room/office/extra bedroom before the Progressive Housewarming Party with Kelda and Stephanie next Saturday. I am so excited to have people over and just hang out. And I'm trying to get Shannon's mojito recipie. I think there will be sangria, pico de gallo, and guacamole at my place. I haven't thrown a party in SO long! I'm inviting a bunch of people from church and from work. It should be good.

And I've been watching The Holiday with Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Cameron Diaz, and Jude Law. Quite fabulous. I am becoming a devoted fan of Nancy Meyer. She also produced and directed Something's Gotta Give, What Women Want, etc. All good and accessible for the males too. And if I was an actress, I would want Kate Winslet's roll in this film.

Anywho, just a quick note from me. Hope you're all well...whoever reads this yet. :)

Pray!

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 01:35:01 GMT

Remember how I went to Peru this summer? Well, I found out today that Lee, the Calvin student I became good friends with and shared rides with, went into Metro Hospital over the weekend. Here's the email I sent out to my Peru Crew. Janet is his mom, and she was my roomate while we were in Lima. And Justin is Lee's younger brother. He came to Lima as well.

Email:

I found out today that Lee went into the hospital Sunday night. He was at his house in Grand Rapids and felt the right side of his body go numb and lost his ability to speak and move. One of his roomates called 911 and then called Janet. Lee was brought to Metropolitan Hospital where Janet and Justin met up with him. The medical team determined that Lee definitely had a stroke after an MRI and multiple other tests. For the medically inclined, they were able to use TPA because they caught it within the 3 hour mark. PRAISE GOD! TPA is a clot buster for those who don't know, and is used in strokes where a blood clot is involved. They never found the clot. Thankfully, Lee's feeling and speech and movement on the right side are improving. They expect him to get back 99% of his baseline. They found out that Lee has a patent foramen ovale (PFO), a defect in his heart that allowed a blood clot to form and go up to his brain. You don't realize you have a PFO unless something like this happens or you find it by accident. They will be able to fix the PFO which is essentially a hole between 2 chambers of Lee's heart. The hope to fix that in a couple weeks after letting Lee's brain relax for a bit.

I know the doctor that will be performing that procedure and he's good. It doesn't require open heart surgery. They'll actually be able to do this in the heart cath lab. I have taken care of patients like this before. Just never this young.

Janet called me and told me all the details. She is staying with Lee in the ICU. She sounded ok on the phone but admitted she hasn't gotten any sleep since this has all happened. Remember her and Justin as they are trying to take care of Lee and keep him encouraged. It sounds like Lee's taking it all in stride. Would you expect any less? And remember their sister Kara who's out here in the Denver area. She is really wishing she could be in Michigan with the rest of the family.

Praise God it was caught in time and that there is not any long term damage at this point!

I'll try and keep you all updated!

Another prayer concern I have is that I found out my dad's kidney function is not improving. It's actually getting worse and dialysis is becoming even more of a reality. It's really scary for me because I am far away and I don't want to see my parents freedom to travel and ability to have adventures come to an end. Dialysis is not a death sentence but it definitely puts a damper on spontaneity. Pray that my dad's lab values would improve and that he wouldn't have to start dialysis so soon.

Lee and I in Lima

me and Janet

Justin learing some Peruvian moves

my mom and dad

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 11:28:35 GMT

Estoy muy cansado....zzzzzz. (I am very tired....zzzzzz).

So, I am working nights again. And I'm trying to keep myself occupied these last couple of hours or I'm going to fall asleep. Just had my coffee with hot cocoa mix to try and boost the caffeine in my system. The other nurses and I were swapping stories about how we stay awake on the drive home. This one nurse said he yells at himself and slaps himself to stay awake! How funny is that! He is now known as "Tourette's". At least in my mind.

I can't say that I had the best night...I only have 2 patients and my preceptor isn't exactly a preceptor. I have had to find things to do and to ask about. She's older than me but I've been a nurse longer than she has. It's always an interesting thing to encounter. But orientation will be done before I know it. And then I'll be wishing I wasn't so gosh-darn busy!

I'm getting my stuff from Michigan the beginning of next week! I'm flying my friend Mark out to drive back a rental truck for me. I'm pretty excited to sleep in my big girl bed again. And actually have furniture to sit on and arrange. Ahhhh. And a place to "set my donkey down" as John Carman would say. :) Wish I could go, but it's just not possible at this time. I'll have to see all my GR peeps later this summer.

Ok, gots to be a nurse...or at least professional. Oh, see the movie Half Nelson....very thought-provoking.

Welcome to Arvada...

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 00:54:21 GMT

I FOUND AN APARTMENT! I FOUND AN APARTMENT!

*And there was much rejoicing.*

I signed the lease today and found it yesterday! Seabrooke and I are already moving in. I plan on sleeping there tomorrow night. I won't have any furniture yet...but those details are being worked out. For now, it will stay
here:

We will be reunited!

I do not look forward to this:

you know, the unpacking. But it will be good once it is all done.

I wish these people were around to help:

like Maria "the Tornado" Pruis,

or Shannon "look-at-my-new-wardrobe" Hollemans,

or Eden "I'm-too-cute-to-help" Hollemans,

or Jennie "don't-mess-with-my-pappazan-burrito" Keegstra,

or my amazingly, fantastic parents!

They might have helped too.

Oh, and don't let this scare you...or let it. I didn't mean for it to get so out of hand!

OOPS!

So anyways, the new place is the 2nd floor of this building...note the vaulted ceilings!

This is the living room/dinette area. The fireplace is just past the door in. And my purse is hanging on my bedroom door. The laundry room is just before that on the left across from the kitchen. (You can't actually see the laundry room.)

I like it!